Goodbye Old Faithful

You've been a very good dog. Now it's time for you to take your well-earned rest.

You will always have a special place in my heart...

Confused, but going to stick it out with You

Then He said, "Go out, and stand on the mountain before the LORD." And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.

1 Kings 19:11-12

Tick tock tick tock

Ring ring?

Part 1 of His answer to my prayer

All I can say is, "Thank you Lord that you are in control of my future - and that all your plans for me are for me to prosper, not to come to harm, and to have hope and a future."

The waiting game

Josh has been very sweet and expressing his concern that I don't get out very much and how I should find something to do outside the house so I don't A) get depressed and/or B) go bonkers (I'm wondering if he envisions me greeting him at the door with a knife and a deranged look...).

I'm not really sure if it is inertia, fear/nervousness or the weather (or maybe all) that's really stopping me from going out and doing stuff. Part of me is constantly thinking I shouldn't be spending money when I am not earning anything and going out always has the temptation of BUYING something. Even if it is just coffee. Coffee plus bus fare equals at least GBP5.50. Back when I was working I could justify these little extravagances because I'd tell myself I was working hard and/or I had saved money the day before by having a cheap lunch. It's not like we're short of money but I feel I should be more prudent, don't you agree?

And finding outside activities (he's been suggesting dance classes) - whenever I think about it, the question 'what if I find a job and the classes don't fit with my schedule?' always pops up. I guess in my mind I'm always thinking that job should come first and if I do anything other than focus all my energy on getting a job (housekeeping doesn't count as it's a given in this equation) then I'm not helping my situation. And that there isn't a reason for me to be blamed that things are not moving as fast as I hoped it would.

I just need my big break and everything will (should) fall in place. But then sometimes, God doesn't work the way we humans think He should.

Maybe I should consider those dance lessons...

Faith the size of a mustard seed

Sometimes life feels like an endless cycle of waiting.

At last