the importance of strong family ties

is especially evident during the Great Singapore Sale. because shopping with your family means that you have the spectrum of credit cards between you to garner additional discounts on top of the slashed prices.

down memory lane

i started off this weekend by reading Kafka.

now, little children, reading Kafka the first thing after waking up on a Saturday morning is not the wisest choice to make. really.

so to counter the impending depression, i dug into my book cupboard and took out some of my favourite books from a bygone era.

Sweet Valley Twins.

:)

oh, and to top it off, i watched about 6 episodes of Gilmore Girls last night.

shutdown weekends

call me anti-social but most of the time on weekends, all i want to do is just spend time at home with the family. which involves watching loads of TV, driving with my family in tow, having long chats with my mom (maybe sneaking a bit of "errand-running" a.k.a. "shopping with a purpose" from time to time), eating at home... recently though, i've been trying to make good on a resolution i made earlier in the year - to read more. i had this feeling some time ago that work was making me stupid. in an existentialist way. yes i've been reading but the sort you do for work doesn't give you the buzz. you know, that wonderful feeling of stimulation when you read a book and pause to ponder something beyond P&L (though in my job, i thankfully don't have to think of P&L).

the past two weekend have thus been spent devouring books (1 reasonably thick one last weekend and 2 in the past two days) that i picked up at the MPH warehouse sale on Labour Day. bought at the bargain price of $7 each, they've each been a joy to read, and while some are not exactly academic material, they really did give me that thrill.


Book Review

to appeal to the nerd/intellectual in you, i would heartily recommend this collection of short stories by Chinese writer Li Yiyun. the book is a collection of very touching stories, of Chinese people trying to cope in a post-Mao China/Chinese society. while my mom stopped at the first story as she found it too depressing, it really is a rewarding book if you can get past the rather sad storylines/premises.

What Would Barbra Do, on the other hand, is utterly funny. perhaps the reason why i really enjoyed it was because i adore musicals. Emma Brockes has loads of funny anecdotes from her interaction with musical-lovers and musical -haters, and even has a chapter attempting to explain why men hate musicals (and suggestion of musicals that might change their minds!).
what sold me to buy the book was the synopsis:

Film musicals: you either love them or they make you want to kill yourself slowly with plastic cutlery. Nothing has the power to lift your heart or turn your stomach like Howard Keel in fake sideburns singing "Bless Your Beautiful Hide" or Julie Andrews singing...well, just about anything. There are few situations where the question: What would Barbra do? doesn't have relevance in a world which is much better lived to a soundtrack of show-tunes. This is a book for people who know that: people don't tend to die in musicals, but those who do deserve it; true love waits long enough for an element of mistaken identity to be introduced (especially if one of the couple is a Nazi); and, women carry the show. Talented women wind up alone...But they have the consolation of the torch song, which in Hollywood musicals is more fulfilling than a husband.



Now the last book on my review is in a word, FABULOUS. if every woman in the world read this book, ahhh, life would just be DIVINE. we'd be having lovely formal dinners, people will actually write thank you cards for gifts received, we'd all be CIVIL to each other... oh what a world it would be. :)

Blimey!

now i bet you didn't know there is a COCKNEY BIBLE! it's hilarious!

and i'm sure somewhere up in Heaven, God is chuckling as he reads it...

Excerpts:
Jesus feeds five thousand geezers
(Matthew 14; 13 - 21, Luke 9; 10 - 17, John 6; 1 - 14)
JESUS' chinas met up with 'im. Jesus and his little group of apostles didn't even have time for a bite to eat. So 'e said to 'em, "Oi, fellas, let's pop off on our Jack for a while and have a little rest and a feather."
So they got into a nanny and headed off to a quiet place.
Loads of people saw them leaving, so people from all over different towns ran like the clappers by land and arrived at the same place Jesus was headed for.
When Jesus got out of the old nanny, 'e saw this bloomin' huge crowd.
Now time was getting on and a little alligator, his disciples came up to him and said, "It's getting a little late, boss, and this is a really lonely place.
"I think we should send all these Hank Marvin people to some of the farms and villages dahn the old frog so that they can buy some nosh to eat."
"Why don't you give 'em something to eat?" Jesus asked. "Now 'ang on, boss," they said. "Are we gonna have to spend two hundred silver coins on Uncle Fred in order to feed this lot?"
Jesus asked, "How much grub have you got? Go an' 'ave a butcher's." They told 'im, "We've got five loaves of Uncle Fred and two Lillian Gish."
Jesus then told his disciples to ask all the people to get into groups and sit dahn on the grass.
Jesus then took the Uncle Fred and the Lillian Gish. He broke the Uncle Fred into bits, gave it all to his disciples and told them to give some food to everyone. He also broke the Lillian Gish into bits and told his chinas to pass it on.
Now, would you Adam and Eve it, everyone 'ad enough to eat!

The Lord's Prayer
(Luke 11; 2 - 4)
HELLO, Dad, up there in good ol' Heaven,
Your name is well great and holy, and we respect you, Guv.
We hope we can all 'ave a butcher's at Heaven and be there as soon as possible: and we want to make you happy, Guv, and do what you want 'ere on earth, just like what you do in Heaven.
Guv, please give us some Uncle Fred, and enough grub and stuff to keep us going today, and we hope you'll forgive us when we cock things up, just like we're supposed to forgive them who annoy us and do dodgy stuff to us.
There's a lot of dodgy people around, Guv; please don't let us get tempted to do bad things. Help keep us away from all the nasty, evil stuff, and keep that dodgy Satan away from us, 'cos you're much stronger than 'im.
Your the Boss, God, and will be for ever, innit? Cheers, Amen.



P.S. The translation was done by school teacher Mike Coles and is approved by Dr George Carey, the former Archbishop of Canterbury who feels that it puts energy and passion back into the stories.

my two cents worth

my theory is that Boris beat Ken not because he is the better politician but because Top Gear has ruined Ken's image with its constant repetition that Ken is an idiot for all his policies on road pricing.

TV celebrities 1: Politicians 0

another reason why the media plays an important role in checking the government.

i wonder when that will be true here.

the world would be a better place if

Monty Python-esque diplomacy was employed and Monty Python songs/skits/movies/TV were vehicles of some globally agreed-upon propaganda.

you wouldn't have all these uncivilised and frankly, rather over-the-top, reactions by the Chinese, and everyone will get along splendidly.


The world today seems absolutely crackers,
With nuclear bombs to blow us all sky high.
There's fools and idiots sitting on the trigger.
It's depressing and it's senseless, and that's why...
I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
They only come up to your knees,
Yet they're always friendly, and they're ready to please.

I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
There's nine hundred million of them in the world today.
You'd better learn to like them; that's what I say.

I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
They come from a long way overseas,
But they're cute and they're cuddly, and they're ready to please.

I like Chinese food.
The waiters never are rude.
Think of the many things they've done to impress.
There's Maoism, Taoism, I Ching, and Chess.

So I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
I like their tiny little trees,
Their Zen, their ping-pong, their yin, and yang-ese.

I like Chinese thought,
The wisdom that Confucious taught.
If Darwin is anything to shout about,
The Chinese will survive us all without any doubt.

So, I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
They only come up to your knees,
Yet they're wise and they're witty, and they're ready to please.

All together.

[verse in Chinese]
Wo ai zhongguo ren. (I like Chinese.)
Wo ai zhongguo ren. (I like Chinese.)
Wo ai zhongguo ren. (I like Chinese.)
Ni hao ma; ni hao ma; ni hao ma; zaijien! (How are you; how are you; how are you; goodbye!)

I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
Their food is guaranteed to please,
A fourteen, a seven, a nine, and lychees.

I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
I like their tiny little trees,
Their Zen, their ping-pong, their yin, and yang-ese.

I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
They only come up to your knees...


Now, some people have asked me how I can find such a song so hilarious when they are pretty much making fun of my race. My response is, even if they are mocking the Chinese, how can "wo ai zhongguo ren" sung by a group of ang mohs not guarantee a smile on your face?

and if I were one of the millions in China outraged by recent apparently insulting actions of the West, "wo ai zhongguo ren" would sound pretty appeasing to me... there pretty much isn't any way of misinterpreting that statement, if you ask me...