tired

of feeling like i'm putting myself out there so much, getting hopes up.

but then again, it's about taking it as a positive learning experience. networking and what have you. someday it might come in handy.

i should hear news next week.

in the meantime, i've got a few more up my sleeve to spam. and a full online application form to complete.

oh and that dodgy work. haha...

2 weeks in a row - coincidence? i think not!

thursday seem to be a good day to get called up by agencies. friday seem to be the day they all want to interview you.

spamming works! spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam!

oh and they all seem to pick the weirdest times to call. never when you are sitting down calmly at a desk with paper and pen in hand. rather, when you are browsing magazines at Kino or in the shower.

my mom was amused that 1 day after spamming i get a call-back. exciting stuff!

enjoying spamming firms a bit too much for my comfort

joyce thinks i should go work for some online advertising agency. or be one of those scammers who ask people to send money over to secure some unclaimed inheritance/prize.

in the meantime, a tribute to SPAM!

back to the drawing board

was woken up by a phone call this morning (it seems to be happening a lot these days, as if HR find it funny to call at "inconvenient" times) letting me know of some recent developments. so it turns out my OAS-shading skills are still good (not just the fact that i can shade a circle with a 2B pencil properly) but on the downside, they don't have vacancies in the department i want. thus the call to see if i would like to change to something else. after being stumped for a few seconds, i knew the answer to that question.

so it has simplified things a bit, yet it also means i've gone down a snake and need to go through a few more squares than i thought i would need to. alas...

funny how you can go from feeling really low to happy in a day

thank you God for friends.

they remind me of how you are always looking out for me and that you know my innermost thoughts.

sometimes i just want a cuddle

and it sucks when you are not here to give me one.

and it's at these times that it gets hard.

Hi, my name is Adeline Berlin

it started with an exchange about Anita Sarawak. next thing i know we have new stage names, like Aveline Chan Chiang Mai and Nirwan Kalimantan. initially i thought there was some alliteration thing with one's surnames so i asked, does it mean i'm to be Adeline Li Lijiang? Nirwan Kalimantan disagreed, saying that it should rhyme with our names so he devised an improved stage name for me.

say hello to Adeline Berlin!
and Joyce Khoo Waterloo (not a city in the UK but there IS one in Canada!).

of course Chris already has an escort name.......while Jussi has a funky/exotic enough name by virtue of being Swedish (pictures from Nirwan's birthday dinner gathering tonight - we had some Arabic food along Bussorah Street, pretty decent and reasonably priced)

and because of this whole stage-name conversation, i kept having the song 'Dance Ten Looks Three' from A Chorus Line stuck in my head on the way home. it's the one that Val sings which is actually more commonly known as 'Tits and Ass' but was cheekily named 'Dance Ten Looks Three' to escape censors before opening night...

growing older

funny how the older you get, your opinions on how your life will turn out (or rather, what direction you want you life to move in) change rather drastically. over the past few days i've been chatting with various friends about the road ahead and marriage and children. i still remember how when i was younger i was adamant that i could have both a successful career and a loving family, and more importantly that i wouldn't give up my job to be a full-time mother. in fact i think about 2 years ago i was still standing firm in my ideas of how i was going to raise a family.

yet now whenever i think about it, being a career mom doesn't seem that important. i actually think that i WANT to be a stay-home mom, driving my kids around to various activities (imagine me, a soccer mom in an SUV, or shuttling my children from hockey practice to saxophone classes and during grocery shopping in between!). coincidentally, i don't seem to be the only one who thinks so - 2 great dancers that i respect very much, Darcey Bussell and Alessandra Ferri, have recently retired to spend more time with their children.

perhaps this is what it feels like growing older...

growing up is

learning to pick the fights you want to fight, and learning to let go of others

doing things the way you want to and not feeling you need to compromise to get to where you want to go

and that things might not always go according to your plan but in the long scale of things, they are but little blips or diversions.

the past 2 days

it felt strange to be shading OAS-s with 2B pencils. afterall, the last time was in JC for Econs. the assessment went ok - hard to tell since i can't gauge from a series of tests how well i did. or whether i am the sort of person they want. i think i was the youngest one there!

today's stumped me too. it went well initially but then i'm not sure about the second part. i was honest about something which i'm personally glad of but was told off by certain people i spoke to later that it was stupid of me to.

i'm leaving it to Him. i have a good feeling that everything will work out amazingly in His time.

something that caught my eye in 'Pointe' Magazine

"It is easy to be happy when the desired roles are coming your way, but the true test of a professional is going through those quiet times with integrity, determination and a continued quest for improvement."

Victoria Morgan
Cincinnati Ballet Artistic Director

for the past 3 months, this song has been the soundtrack of my life..

TWENTYSOMETHING by JAMIE CULLUM

After years of expensive education,
a car full of books and anticipation,
I’m an expert on Shakespeare and that’s a hell of a lot
but the world don't need scholars as much as I thought.

Maybe I'll go travelling for a year,
finding myself or start a career.
I could work for the poor though I’m hungry for fame
we all seem so different but we're just the same.

Maybe I'll go to the gym, so I don't get fat,
aren't things more easy with a tight six pack?
Who knows the answers? Who do you trust?
I can't even separate love from lust.

Maybe I’ll move back home and pay off my loans,
working nine to five answering phones.
Don't make me live for my friday nights,
drinking eight pints and getting in fights.

I don't want to get up, just let me lie in,
leave me alone, I'm a twenty something.

Maybe I'll just fall in love that could solve it all,
philosophers say that that’s enough,
there surely must be more. Ooooh

Love ain’t the answer nor is work,
the truth eludes me so much it hurts.
But I’m still having fun and I guess that's the key,
I'm a twenty something and I'll keep being me.

doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah
doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah
doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah
doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah

I’m a twenty something.
Let me lie in, Leave me alone.
I’m a twenty something.

doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah
doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah
doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah
doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah

God bless the inventor of gaffer tape!

Dubai was tiring and jam-packed with work. not surprisingly, i got little sleep there, and even in the 2 days after, sleeping the day away (it was Ramadan so we turned nocturnal) didn't seem enough for the exhausted body/mind. nonetheless it was good experience and i have become more tech-savvy than before (shocking, really!) because i ended up doing a lot of the set-up of computers/printers and testing with 2 other guys (i blame it on a variety of factors - but it was quite fun overall).

the view from our apartment - we stayed at one of Dubai World Trade Centre's service apartment buildings so that we would only be a short walk away from the venue (to avoid getting stuck in traffic jams - and also to facilitate the crazy hours).
Dubai seems to be under permanent construction...

only managed to find time on the last day to take photos of the exhibition. was busy running around troubleshooting (GEEK GEEK!) and solving various logistical problems.
the biggest registration counter at Exhibition Gate:
the concourse area outside Halls 5 to 8 (this is only one side of the huge Centre - there are 3 sections, each almost the same size)
i was supposed to oversee the Media area but ended up with Conference. which became my sanctuary area because it wasnt crowded so whenever i needed a break i'd pop in and check on my temp staff (and chat with them), even getting free coffee! it even looks chilled out!
i should also mention that my NEW shoes broke on the first day of the show because someone stepped on the back when i was walking away and the heel bit tore off. thankfully we had gaffer tape which helped keep the shoe in one piece for 5 days (and also fortunately my shoes were black!)
one of our offices that was turned into storage for equipment and boxes.
the main office which also gradually became a dump with boxes of lanyards and forms crammed in. on the right is Number 1 (boss) and on the left, Number 2 ("technologist").
me and my roomie Zach on the bridge area outside the Media Centre. ahh the fun times...
the night before the last day of the show, the Organiser Boss took us for Egyptian food! mmmmm...
me and Vic, whom i bullied quite a lot (we were the 2 doing the stupidest things!)
a plate of raw vegetables, olives and a chopped salad with crackers on top.
more salad and pickled eggplant (very delicious!)
a raita-like dip, hummous and picklesabove, seafood soup and below, lentil soup
grilled lamb (a variety of cuts!) with grilled tomatoes and peppers mmmmmmmm.....
a lasagne with bechamel sauce
flavoured rice wrapped in fig and cabbage leaves, and stuffed into marrow
the green stuff was some gooey dip made from some vegetable (our host didn't know the English name for it)a refreshing platter of fruit...

hotels in Dubai are really posh and breathtakingly decorated. we walked through Kempinski Hotel (located at the Mall of Emirates) after dinner the evening after the event ended and couldn't resist being tourists! the stones are actually submerged in water - the surface looked so much like glass!
(part of) the team! me, Leonard, Zach, Vic and Chee Tseng
on our last night we ventured to the Jumeirah Beach Hotel for drinks. from there we were able to view the stunning Burj Al Arab.
Jumeirah Beach Hotel by night - we headed to Uptown on the 24th floor for some fancy cocktails and drinks.
they served really tasty olives pickled with sundried tomatoes. i highly recommend their Pina Colada and Tolberone. heavenly... the Gin Tonic was pretty good too.
the not-so-clear view of the beach and 360 Restaurant/Bar from Uptown but nonetheless pretty.

postscript: should i be concerned that i looked absolutely fine (and felt normal) after 5 1/2 drinks when the others (all guys) had turned red after 2-3?

Flying off again!

though not to the UK. this time it's to HOT HOT HOT Dubai. and no, not for holiday (i don't think i would be able to afford it!) but for work experience. not even for work, just work experience (i'm using that term because i'm not getting paid a salary, just expenses covered).

"that's so random", you say. the story: i used to work for the company (1 summer 2 years ago) and they knew i was coming back so they asked if i could do the job. at the time i wasn't very sure because i thought saying yes to something in September might be silly as it would complicate job-hunting (having to tell them i'm only available to work from mid-Sept rather than as soon as possible). but yes, last week i started looking forward to going away for this work experience thing because i am eager to get back into the work mode (eager to the extent of doing housework at home even though my mom insisted she'd do it herself - her rationale is that if she allows me to she'll get complacent and when i'm not around she'll have to work harder to get back into the routine).

am believing God that something positive will come out of this. so toodle-oos people, will be gone today till 16th morning. might even be able to update while i'm there (when i can sneak some time away and find internet connection!). the weather forecast is off-putting but then again, like my colleagues say, "aiya, got air-con mah! they are the ones who are contributing to global warming because they burn so much fuel keeping cool!"

FUNKY MONKEY MY DAD HAS A BLOG!

now it's my turn to spy on my dad (you know how parents always like to read their children's blogs? ROLE REVERSAL! wahahahaha!)