Family holidays are an exercise in diplomacy

You know how they say that birth order affects your personality/working style?

Here's a brief explanation:

Birth order theory outlines four types of personalities- first borns, second borns, only’s and youngests. If you were 3rd of six children then circumstances would have meant that you either functioned predominantly like one of the big four above.

Here are the four birth order types and some of their characteristics:

First borns – the leaders, the drivers and the responsible types. These people like to manage others but first they need to manage themselves. They love to feel in control and can feel uncomfortable with surprises or feeling out of their depth. They are conservative in their outlook, which is both a strength and a weakness. Their ability to focus on a goal and their propensity to organise others means they can achieve whatever they put their minds to.

Their tendency toward perfectionism can mean they can be low risk-takers but they can be the rock around which organisations can be built. Approval of authority is important for this group so don’t expect them to rock the boat too much. First borns, above all else, want to forge ahead.

Second borns – the ‘people’ people, the compromisers, and the flexible operators. They are likely to motivated by a cause and will enjoy working alongside people. They will often choose tasks or even a job that will give them a feeling of belonging. Friendships are important to this group so they will learn to get along and will help keep the peace in a group or organisation. They often need others to drive them but they are the glue that holds groups together. Relationships are important to this group so make sure they included in all activities. Seconds, above all else, put people first.

Only’s – the quiet achievers, the finishers, they expect nothing less than the best. This group will raise the bar for everyone around them as nothing but the best will do. Their great strength is their ability to work for long periods of time on their own so they make great project finishers and strategic thinkers but they can be secretive and don’t deal well with conflict. Recognition is important to this group. Only’s, above all else, aim to please.

Youngests – the initiators, ideas people and the challengers. This group are the creative, live-for-the moment types who can put some fun and verve into activities. While the message for first borns is to lighten up it seems that this group need to take things more seriously sometimes. Great initiators and very impatient doers, they perservere to get something started but often are not the greatest of finishers. This group will often do anything to be noticed so make sure you pay heed to their efforts. Youngests, above all else, will blow your mind.

So anyway, I think this theory does not quite apply to parents - it's as if being a parent overrides this birth order thing.

So anyway - 2 parents + 1 very typical firstborn = me caught in the middle of crossfire.


Shaken, (but thankfully) not stirred.